2013 Resolutions

They say you are more successful in reaching goals if you tell other’s about them…. Cheer’s to accountability!

2013 is bound to be a healthy, challenging and adventurous year!

January: Do YOGA everyday for the month

February: Cut all REFINED sugars from your diet for one month

March: Run 5 days a week for the month + Book a long weekend and GO somewhere

April: Try a NEW workout class once a week

May: Do not eat OUT for the month + Run the Half Marathon

June: Do ONE random act of kindness once a week for the month

July: GO Camping, GO to the beach + GO to a city festival (aka ENJOY your summer at home!)

August: Find a new hiking trail & go once a week for the month

September: Pick one person a day to honour

October: Send postcards to your brothers, Hayden & Claire once a week for the month

November: Unplug- go off Facebook for a month

December: Cross something off your travel bucket list

Look who is back!

I haven’t written in a while because I have been entirely too busy soaking up life back at home.

I have spent the month showing my family and friends some overdue love- enjoying long visits, longer hugs, baby snuggles, life catch up sessions, girls talk, movie nights, sushi dinners, dinners in, hikes, dance parties, long walks and the simple pleasure of proximity.

 

I have been capitalizing  on the simple pleasures I missed, namely;  favourite foods, baking and cooking, communal living with lovely roommates, regular exercise, fresh air, cool jogs, the start of Christmas season and the freedom of driving… among so many other things.

I may have not survived 6 months in India gracefully but I am managing the transition HOME like a champ!

It is like I never left.

Though I recognize many things are different; South Korean horse riding moves have become popular, friendly faces in the office remain friendly but may not be familiar, my “niece” and “nephew” are walking and talking, my brothers are approaching “too cool” and my pant size as decreased dramatically…

…many things are the same…. my friends are cooler than ever, my family remains  my rock, my dog’s bum still wiggles out of control when he sees me, my bed is still as comfy as ever, I still share a love/hate relationship with my job and Toronto is still the neatest place to live.

There is NO place like home!

“Book a ticket and just leave”

 

And that I did!

Now I am sitting in the airport in Goa bracing myself for the pile of work waiting for me in Udaipur. Silver lining? I am home to Canada in less than 2 weeks.

It has been a great little vacation- not what I expected- travelling solo to a deserted coastal town in India (didn’t think that one out fully!)- but worth it.

I spent the mornings walking  up and down the beach- such a stark contrast to the beeping horns, diesel filled air back in Udaipur. Mind you EVERYTHING has been a stark contrast to Udaipur- travelling just a couple hours south results in a completely different lifestyle, religion, language and cuisine.

The food was great, it rained for a total of 15 minutes (thank you MONSOON goddess for that little treat!) and I found some great company in the last couple days that made celebrating my birthday (without family and friends) much more enjoyable.

Just a couple “snaps” (I am just SO Indian in my vocab these days!)…

The hidden pathway from my guest house to the beach & Candolim Beach.

I had a beautiful birthday exploring a hidden waterfall and checking out the Holy City- Old Goa with some beautiful old Catholic churches and ruins.

 

The getaway was a SUCCESS.

Next stop…. Toronto in 13 days.

Getting my priorities straight

Its not even 4 am and I am writing from a propped up position in bed. I’ve been awake for over an hour.

I would chalk it up to sleep less ‘recovery’ – as I am on the mend from a 4 day India- inspired flu ( I will spare you the details but I promise you it was not lovely) but I don’t think that is quite“it”.

I’m restless.

I remember during my (at times) obscenely selfish teenage years my parents scolding me by saying the (albeit classic) “You need to get your priorities straight.” well this ‘morning’  that very statement is ringing in my ears!

Having had a couple calls with home this week I can’t help but feel that tonight I am not where I need to be. Family is something I have always claimed is important to me- but lately I think I have a ‘funny’ way of showing it.

Sure there is something to be said for chasing a dream and doing what I love but as I get older I realize there are sacrifices you need to make as a member of a family. As my step dad continues to battle cancer- my mom, brothers and extended family work everyday towards maintaining normalcy and HOPE. Sure I make the weekly phone call and send the occasional card chalked full of love..but I can’t help but feel I am not pulling my weight. Family is important to me… but is it at the top of my priority list?

My  brothers are getting older and older every day (I know this is obvious) but with this growth comes new developments, new personality traits, new likes and dislikes…. all of to which I am oblivious (aside from the updates I receive every now and then when I remember to ask). When they look back on these years are they going to recall that ‘they were my world (as I so often claim)?’

And it isn’t just my title as daughter, sister and even granddaughter I am starting to question. My title as “best friend” or even “friend” seems loosely held onto these days. I have a number of friendships I have had for years- many of which have this unspoken agreement that no matter how long we go without talking or seeing each other we would still consider each other ‘besties’… but I WANT to define a friendship by support offered, laughter shared, experiences  forged… all of which require SEEING each other.

And to avoid sounding melodramatic, over critical and unrealistic I will add the disclaimer that this is all very idealistic… sometimes life demands absences, sometimes one needs to look out for their personal goals. But as I enter a stage of (what I have dubbed) ‘life research’… looking at what is next for me…. I look forward to demanding a more self critical role and re analyzing my ‘priorities’.

With two months before I am due home ( or 55 days!!!) I am committed to some serious reanalyzing… how can I be a better daughter? sister? grand daughter?  FAMILY member? friend? pseudo Auntie (to my best friends GORGEOUS babes)?

Stay tuned as I contemplate the tangibles!!

A little day trip

After weeks of the same old landscape it was time for a change up. Sunday afternoon a co worker and I took off for a little adventure… to check Asia’s largest man made lake—2nd in the world.

The drive was awesome, a different landscape- hills, greenery without the honking of horns, swerving to avoid cows, or the usual craziness of the one lane roads . At one point I was momentarily picked up and transported home- it looked as if i was driving a back road in Ontario- Ohhh was a treat!

Jasiamand Lake was beautiful, large and expansive- it was as overcast, cool day (which is regarded as a beautiful day here when the norm is sunny and scorching).  I was the only foreigner around- the shore was crowded with local visitors with the very same idea for a Sunday afternoon adventure.

It wasn’t until I realized my co workers intention that my stomach formed knots- his idea of ‘taking in the lake’ was boarding a ferry to the island resort. Me? Take a rickety boat? on a lake? ARE YOU KIDDING?

I didn't have the luxury of being TOTALLY candid- after all my irrational fear of open bodies of water should not be shared with all the world’s people- instead I voiced my distrust but ultimately worked up the courage to disembark.

Satyameet signing our lives away… 

Don’t let the smile fool you- I was SO anxious!

My carefree escort!

 

I insisted on sitting at the back of the boat to equal out the weight distribution…but this only brought me closer to the water- SILLY GIRL!

Why there were food rations on a boat that was not to travel for longer than 10 minutes… beats me?!

I made it! It wouldn’t say it was the most relaxing Sunday afternoon but nevertheless I was thankful for the opportunity to get out and have a little experience of my own- after caring for the experience of hundreds of young people the last couple weeks!

Hopefully I get to see more of this beautiful country with some down time due in September! Stay tuned….

Absence makes the heart grow fonder…

Cheesy maybe but SO true. I had no idea how much I would miss those close to me when I couldn’t make a visit happen on a whim.

It sure is hard to be away from my little bros- their world changes to often and I sure hope they remember their big sister -who is across the ocean- is thinking of them everyday.

And then there is the parents… I’ve got 4 of them…they all support me, challenge me and encourage me in so many ways. The time away has made me SO thankful for these 4 fine individuals!

My fam, my friends, my pups, my little ‘niece’ and ‘nephew’s, my coworkers- a note to all of you…. SEPTEMBER can’t come soon enough!

Aside from missing y’all I have been so incredibly busy. We currently have 4 groups of youth here in Udaipur, we have seen 3 groups leave already and we have 2 groups that have yet to arrive.

It has been a whirlwind couple of weeks- so incredibly challenging and overwhelming. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t question my own sanity for choosing to take this all on… but nevertheless I continue to push on. I find those moments- however fleeting- to remind myself of the bigger picture and the ripple affect of my long hours, little sleep and intense stress!

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Because my personal life is pretty non existent these days I have turned to exercise as an outlet and a minimum of an hour a day just for me. Yes I sometimes have to check a text message or answer a call mid squat but HEY- I am trying here!

And it all seems a little bit more manageable when I have some friendly faces floating in and out of my day…. last week a good friend arrived in country and  I have never been SO grateful for a squeeze!

I will be home in T- 77 days! See you soon? and in the meantime stay tuned!

Don’t sweat the small stuff… or DO!

I have been challenged, tried, tested, pushed… and so lately I have found comfort in small ‘wins’- relishing in the small stuff.

The phone calls with good friends at home- having honest encouraging chats and maintaining that connection to the incredible support network that awaits me at home. Also the lovely surprise photos sent with love  “your boys miss you!”

The 5 minute skype call with the little bros, the seemingly meaningless conversation that keeps me smiling through to the next day. “Brittnei doesn’t live in India she lives in Toroooooonto!!!”- Dawson (4) to Dennis (8)

The long awaited arrival of a friend here in Udaipur… the LONG hug and midnight chats. The subsequent belly laughs in the days afterwards… feels SO good to genuinely LAUGH and about the silliest things.

The pro bono fix of the tights malfunction- that hole seemed like the end of the world that day. (Check out that ‘henna-d’ beard!)

Finding oregano and basil in the grocery store after MONTHS of searching for me… and the subsequent eggplant lasagna that I made in celebration.

The debut of the Disney video filmed in May and the relief of not looking as sweaty and gross as I felt when it was shot! Check it out

Taking a tally of these small wins makes those challenges much more manageable. I really am one lucky lady- having a fantastic family, phenomenal friends and opportunities for growth coming from every direction- what more can I ask for #realitycheck

(no I don’t have twitter- it just seemed fitting!)

 

Stay tuned!